This Christmas, give Santa Claus the boot in favor of that Jesus guy

If you’re of the opinion that Christmas is just a pagan holiday the Christians “stole” and that celebrating it as such is evil, move on. I’ll cite Romans 14 and tell you to move on. Otherwise, this is pertinent.

This will piss off a lot of people, just like when I wrote about it years ago, but we need to get rid of Santa Claus.

Yes, I went there.

You see, Santa isn’t real, but we tell our kids that he is. When we knowingly say things that aren’t true, that’s called lying.

And don’t give me the, “but it’s all in fun for the kids” garbage. It’s actually a mentally and spiritually destructive thing if you actually think about it (and it’s still a lie).

If you’re good, some fat guy will come give you a lot of stuff for Christmas? Does this sound familiar?

It should.

Along with God, we’ve created a mythos around another entity who sees all, knows all, judges right from wrong and gives gifts according to what he’s deemed worthy. This is actually antithetical to the God of the Bible, who saves based on absolutely nothing we do, because we all deserve lumps of coal (or to be burned forever by said coal).

Santa has shifted Christmas away from celebrating the coming of the Savior of the world to celebrating consumerism. How much shit I don’t need can I buy cheaply this year? Who can I get it from? Who should I give stuff to? When can this happen? Should I wrap it or put it in a bag?

That’s not say that giving gifts is a bad thing. Hell, Jesus got the first Christmas gifts from the Magi. That’s just what people do to celebrate important, momentous occasions.

What is¬†wrong is putting the emphasis on said gifts and someone who isn’t even real.

Seriously, Christmas is about God becoming incarnate in the form of Jesus (dat second person of the Trinity tho), in order to become our atonement so we can escape the second death. This baby would later turn Aquafina into a badass Merlot, resist all temptations thrown his way, put a guy’s ear back on after it got lopped off, and, you know, kinda get executed in the most brutal way in history so we don’t have to burn for eternity. Sometime in the future, he’ll return and personally rule the world with those whom he saved with perfect grace, while also being kind of hardcore in appearance (just read Revelation 1 for that).

And you’re going to pick a chubby guy in red with flying deer over the Creator and Sustainer of the Universe who gave himself to be reconciled with us?

If that’s the case, our priorities are jacked up.

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If you don’t know that global warming is a fraud by now, there’s not much hope for you

Weren’t we supposed to be flooded all up and down the East Coast by now, and why was the West Coast always left out of those dire predictions?

Answer: Global warming/climate change/whatever is a bunch of crap.

533,000 square miles worth of crap.

This year, we’ve measured record highs for Antarctic sea ice in September, and the Arctic ice cap grew by 29 percent over last year. Both those come after the likes of the BBC predicted we wouldn’t have an Arctic ice cap by… this year?

But don’t all these “higher temperatures” mean less ice?

Oh, and don’t forget about the manipulating data thing in the Climategate scandal.

Seriously, this whole thing is just a political game made up by Communists so they can eliminate capitalism as much as possible (and the Australians are telling them to stick it). You’d do well to understand that.

More evidence for why you should hate Alabama fans

As if we didn’t need more reason to hate Alabama fans, here’s a little golden nugget to make everyone want to sequester the bunch to Mississippi’s mirror image.

Someone was murdered on Saturday for not being upset enough over Alabama’s loss to Auburn in the Iron Bowl.

And they’re jealous of that guy having three balls. See what I did there?

If you’re an Alabama fan, it’s apparently not enough to string together profanities that don’t make sense or to break things or to even abuse a significant other or pet. No, you must shed blood.

So, if you’re an Alabama fan, I’m sure you understand why we probably can’t be friends.

Paul Walker died, but it honestly doesn’t impact your life

So Paul Walker ironically died in a fiery car crash, meaning a man who mainly made his living off the Fast and Furious movies is now gone.

And as cold-hearted as it sounds, it has absolutely no impact on your life.

None.

Sure, he did some humanitarian things abroad, but if you’re honest, he did nothing but serve as eye candy in some crappy movies. If you tell me his movies changed your life, well, then you need to reorient all of your priorities.

Meanwhile, I have a close friend who lost someone legitimately close to him tonight, and there are likely people who should be at least praying for him or consoling him who are more concerned with this dude that they never met and who didn’t really do anything of legitimate import.

And that’s what I find truly sad.