The Civil War on Christmas

Hear the audio version at Anchor, Spotify, and Apple Podcasts.

For the record, I’m not a fan of Christmas lights on houses, pretty much ever, and never when they’re multicolored. I find them tacky, and I’m not sorry about it. In fact, I won’t be erecting a Christmas tree for the third year in a row due to our storage situation. After the presence of creatures with too many legs was discovered in the last tree (It was stored in an outdoor shed), it was all I could do to keep my wife from calling up the Joint Chiefs of Staff to immediately drone strike our house.

Regardless, the War on Christmas is not quiet on the Western Front, as we now have a civil war being waged against Early Christmas. And by Early Christmas, I mean the myriad decorations that bedecked yards and living rooms alike the day after Halloween. This is serious stuff. You can’t skip Thanksgiving like that.

Two quick disclaimers
By Christmas, I don’t mean anything that has to do with Santa Claus. For one, St. Nicholas of Myra was way cooler and slapped far more heretics. For two, he ain’t real. Stop lying to your kids (Matt. 18:6)

But also, if you’re one of those who blasts Christmas as a pagan holiday, you can go back to your regularly scheduled programming of the theological equivalent of Alex Jones. I don’t have time to deal with that.

Now, on to my robust, incredibly thought out arguments.

Let people enjoy things
This is my response to people who mock “sportsball” whenever a big game is on and being celebrated or bemoaned on social media. Just let people enjoy things. We get it. You don’t like it, but nothing morally wrong is going on here. Move on and do something productive. And, no, whining about everyone liking the fact that the Atlanta Braves just beat the Houston Astros in six games for their first World Series win since 1995 (#ChopOn) is not productive.

Another month is probably a good thing
Our so-called holiday season in the Christian West, one could argue, is actually backwards. We have Thanksgiving, when we are thankful for God’s blessings and eat too much. And then we have Christmas, when we are thankful for the Incarnation of God the Son and eat too much.

In reality, taking two months of the year to celebrate what C.S. Lewis called the greatest miracle ever would not be a bad thing. Without the Incarnation, you have no reason to be thankful to the triune God, because without the Incarnation, there is no life, death, burial, and resurrection of Christ, and if the dead are not raised, then we’re wasting our time and hellbound (1 Cor. 15). I, for one, would not argue with singing “Christmas” carols in church more often, because the Incarnation is important all year.

But either way, a true, full-bodied celebration of the Nativity – again, sans fat guy in a red jumpsuit apparatus – is exponentially better than what Thanksgiving has turned into, what with crappy football and tryptophan comas. And seriously, turkey is the blandest, worst possible holiday food. There’s no way to make that bird properly flavorful. I will die on that hill.

Happy Thanksgiving. Merry Christmas.

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