Stop freaking out about how America does Christmas

Just like all the decorations, we couldn’t even get to Thanksgiving before Christians started losing it over how American companies are treating Christmas.

Like clockwork, professional douche rocket Joshua Feuerstein needed to be angry about something, so he naturally went to Starbucks and “pranked” (Read: told them his name was something stupid. Don’t ever do that to food service employees.) them into writing “Merry Christmas” on his coffee cup.

Have a watch, if you must.

Other than the fact that he’s a Oneness heretic (see here), Feuerstein is only hurting the Christian cause when he posts these things. Instead of encouraging loving our neighbor as ourselves, we have to get pissed off because an overpriced coffee shop won’t specifically mention our holiday.

Except they totally do.


On top of that, if they’re not celebrating Jesus, they’re not actually celebrating Christmas in the first place, so why do you care if they greet you with that?

All things done without faith are sin, so even if they do wish us a happy Christmas or Easter or whatever, they’re actually still sinning because they’re not doing that to the glory of God (It’s interesting what happens when you take the Bible seriously.). Maybe we should be more interested in the state of their souls and share the news about Jesus with them instead of whether they give some vacuous lip service. Why do you even give half a shit if someone “Keeps the Christ in Christmas” if they’re going straight to hell anyway (Side note: If you care more that I used a certain word than the fact that it’s true, we have an even bigger problem.)?

While we’re at it and being super blunt, if you’re more concerned with whether someone gives props to your holiday than if they’re cool with God, how am I to know that you’re not going straight to hell? Jesus told us to go make disciples and that people would know us by our love for one another and the world. In a culture that continually validates these types of PR stunts, I’m tempted to think that American Christianity is leaving out the whole Jesus part of Christianity.

Seriously, if we need a coffee chain or a government or a school board or a sports team or a fast food employee with a neck beard to be our ambassadors for Christ and to validate our beliefs, we need to reevaluate our relationship with God.

So, what do we do instead?

Strive for peace with everyone, and for the holiness without which no one will see the Lord. See to it that no one fails to obtain the grace of God; that no “root of bitterness” springs up and causes trouble, and by it many become defiled…” – Hebrews 12:14-15

We’ve already been defiled by becoming culturally bitter and being intentionally pissed off at everything, but that’s what grace is for. It’s on us (while relying on God) to be peace to the world.

Also, look at the enormity of verse 15.

See to it that no one fails to obtain the grace of God.

This implies that your life should be so peaceful and holy and soaked with grace that every action should be directed toward pointing people to the cross. Feuerstein points people to himself; that’s exactly what makes him such an asshole. He doesn’t understand that the war isn’t with flesh and blood and political stances.

He also looks like Kevin James and Fred Durst made a baby together.

I feel like I’m turning this into a DirecTV commercial, but don’t be like this guy. Don’t share his videos. He’s an antichrist and a wolf in sheep’s clothing who doesn’t know the grace of God.

Turn this guy’s Internet popularity on its head by proclaiming the real Gospel about how God sent Jesus to atone for our idiocy.


Easter is why Christmas is a big deal

Yes, Christmas is the time that we celebrate the birth of Jesus, but let’s not forget that the overall purpose is much bigger than just a baby, whose name is invoked in anger too often, was spewed forth into the world while surrounded by farm animals.

He probably wasn’t glowing though.

It was simply the beginning of, as many put it, the greatest story ever told. That baby, being God incarnate, would go on to live a perfect life and put legalistic douchebags in their place.

He would then be murdered in one of the cruelest forms of execution ever devised in the form of crucifixion.

Then he kicked death in the teeth and told Satan where to stick it, proving his power and completing the atonement for how much crap we screw up constantly. That made it possible for God the Father to deem us as not screw ups, because he sees us with Jesus as a covering.

And that’s how we Christians are able to look ourselves in the mirror every day.

Remember, Easter is why Christmas is a big deal.

Dear Megyn Kelly, Jesus wasn’t white

You know by now how I feel about Santa Claus (if you don’t, here’s the link), but here’s a big ol’ laugher for you. Fox News anchor Megyn Kelly said Jesus was a white guy.

In response to an equality retarded article saying Santa shouldn’t be depicted as a white guy anymore, Kelly stated that the historical Saint Nicholas was a white guy (true) but also that Jesus was white (not true). Here’s the video to prove it.

“Just because it makes you feel uncomfortable doesn’t mean it has to change, you know?” Kelly said. “I mean, Jesus was a white man too. He was a historical figure, that’s a verifiable fact, as is Santa — I just want the kids watching to know that.”

No, Megyn, Jesus wasn’t white. He didn’t look like this.

That perm is just wrong.

In the spirit of racial equality, Jesus also didn’t look like this.

Those dreads are just wrong.

Let’s be honest. Jesus, while on the earth, was a Jew, so he probably looked a hell of a lot more like this guy than anything.

Minus the camo. Jesus didn’t play hide-and-seek.

Just so we’re clear.

This Christmas, give Santa Claus the boot in favor of that Jesus guy

If you’re of the opinion that Christmas is just a pagan holiday the Christians “stole” and that celebrating it as such is evil, move on. I’ll cite Romans 14 and tell you to move on. Otherwise, this is pertinent.

This will piss off a lot of people, just like when I wrote about it years ago, but we need to get rid of Santa Claus.

Yes, I went there.

You see, Santa isn’t real, but we tell our kids that he is. When we knowingly say things that aren’t true, that’s called lying.

And don’t give me the, “but it’s all in fun for the kids” garbage. It’s actually a mentally and spiritually destructive thing if you actually think about it (and it’s still a lie).

If you’re good, some fat guy will come give you a lot of stuff for Christmas? Does this sound familiar?

It should.

Along with God, we’ve created a mythos around another entity who sees all, knows all, judges right from wrong and gives gifts according to what he’s deemed worthy. This is actually antithetical to the God of the Bible, who saves based on absolutely nothing we do, because we all deserve lumps of coal (or to be burned forever by said coal).

Santa has shifted Christmas away from celebrating the coming of the Savior of the world to celebrating consumerism. How much shit I don’t need can I buy cheaply this year? Who can I get it from? Who should I give stuff to? When can this happen? Should I wrap it or put it in a bag?

That’s not say that giving gifts is a bad thing. Hell, Jesus got the first Christmas gifts from the Magi. That’s just what people do to celebrate important, momentous occasions.

What is wrong is putting the emphasis on said gifts and someone who isn’t even real.

Seriously, Christmas is about God becoming incarnate in the form of Jesus (dat second person of the Trinity tho), in order to become our atonement so we can escape the second death. This baby would later turn Aquafina into a badass Merlot, resist all temptations thrown his way, put a guy’s ear back on after it got lopped off, and, you know, kinda get executed in the most brutal way in history so we don’t have to burn for eternity. Sometime in the future, he’ll return and personally rule the world with those whom he saved with perfect grace, while also being kind of hardcore in appearance (just read Revelation 1 for that).

And you’re going to pick a chubby guy in red with flying deer over the Creator and Sustainer of the Universe who gave himself to be reconciled with us?

If that’s the case, our priorities are jacked up.