How to suck at disagreeing in a discussion

It may strike you as strange, but I’ve actually gotten really good at disagreeing with people. Yes, occasionally requires a fiery, Martin Luther type approach, but I’ve recently had some discussions that resulted in the dissenting party basically smoking from the ears and following all manner of logical flaws.

That said, here’s a guide on how to suck at disagreement just as bad as my recent counterparts.

1) Take things out of context.

These references never get old.

Better yet, take everything out of context. If I say, “I love Nazis dying in movies,” make sure you quote me as saying, “I love Nazis.”

2) Don’t answer questions.

Jay Carney: Master of Avoidance

Just keep going through your talking points. The quicker you ignore any questions that automatically shoot holes in what you’ve already said, the quicker everyone else will forget that you just got intellectually owned.

3) When all else fails, condescension works best.

Exactly.

Insinuate ulterior motives. Start calling names (fag, stupid Christian, pagan, liberal asshole, conservative asshole, retard atheist, religious nutjob and capitalist seem to work best). The main point is to let them know that even if someone has completely destroyed your argument, you’re still better than them.